Girl Talk
by joedan84
Summary: Chloe and Lana discuss Smallville's male population. Post-episodic for Nocturne.


Started and Finished: October 23, 2002

Last Episode Seen Before Writing: Nocturne

Pairing: Chloe, Lana, friendship

Rating: G

Category: Humor

Spoilers: Heavy Nocturne, slight Kinetic and Stray

Summary: Chloe and Lana discuss Smallville's male population. Post-episodic for Nocturne.

Disclaimer: I only own them in my own little world. They know me there!

****

Girl Talk

Author's Note: Thanks to Phil and LaCasta for the amazing betas. I couldn't live without either of you! You two are the best!

"Hey, Lana," Chloe said with a bright smile. She walked up to the counter, rested her arms on it, and leaned in.

"Chloe, hi," Lana replied, smiling as she cut a pie into eighths.

"What's this I hear about Lex reciting poetry to you?" Chloe asked, not one to dance around the subject.

Lana blushed, dishing out the pie pieces onto a glass platter. "He took the poem Byron gave me. When I told him what it was, he recited John Donne. 'Take me to you. Imprison me, for I shall never be free, nor ever chaste. Except you ravish me.'"

"How dreamy," Chloe said staring off into space.

Lana laughed. "Yes, it was the answer to all my dreams and wishes," she said, picking up a rag to wipe the counter.

"You always have all the fun," Chloe complained, her eyes sparkling.

"The most unattainable man in all of Smallville, who happens to be my boss, recited poetry to me. It's a dream come true," Lana said, rolling her eyes.

"You've thought about Lex's unattainableness?" Chloe asked in surprise.

"Is that even a word, Chloe?" Lana asked with a smile.

Chloe shrugged. "Okay, his availability, but that's not the point."

"No, I haven't pondered how available Lex is. He's just a friend who happens to be well-read," Lana explained, walking around the counter.

"I wouldn't mind being read poetry," Chloe said, sliding onto a barstool.

"By Lex?" Lana asked in shock.

Chloe's eyes got wide. "What? No! Although he is probably the only male in Smallville who reads anything but comic books."

Lana grinned. "He reads comics too, Chloe. Warrior Angel."

"Nuh-uh," Chloe said, looking questioningly at Lana. "You have to be kidding me."

Lana shook her head. "Nope. He's an avid fan. Even has some original first-edition panels."

"You think you know a person. Obviously I need to tune my reporter skills a bit," Chloe said, her face contorted in thought.

"Maybe you do. I've never seen you drop a lead for anything short of a concussion. What was with the quick exit the other day?" Lana asked, reaching across Chloe to grab the coffee pot.

"I didn't drop my lead," Chloe insisted. "Pete needed me so I had to go to the hospital."

"He needed his Playstation 2, Chloe. Not exactly emergency material," Lana pointed out.

"Pete's my best friend. He needed something, so I left. It's not a big deal," Chloe said, shrugging.

"Oh, I'm not saying that it's bad. I was just confused. It's good that you and Pete are so loyal to each other," Lana said, trying to do damage control.

"Loyal to a fault, eh?" Chloe asked with a grin. "Pete's a great guy. If only he weren't my best friend."

"Chloe!" Lana exclaimed.

"No, I don't mean that!" Chloe said quickly. "Okay, maybe I do."

Lana laughed. "Too bad he's the best friend. Tragic, really," she said wistfully.

It was Chloe's turn to laugh. "Besides the Playstation, I saw the look of death you shot Clark when I walked up. I swear it got ten degrees cooler in here," Chloe said seriously. "There was no way I was going to stick around for round two."

"I wouldn't call it a look of death," Lana said, quietly.

"Yes, you would. If looks could kill, Clark would be six feet under right now. What's wrong with you and Clark, anyway? Trouble in paradise?" Chloe asked, trying to read Lana's eyes.

"I might point out that the words Clark and paradise are oxymorons," Lana said, the corners of her mouth curling upward a bit.

"The words Clark and moron go quite nicely, don't you think?" Chloe asked, making Lana laugh.

"You're right about that. It's just that Clark expects me to be open and honest with him, but refuses to be honest with me," Lana explained sadly.

"So, not only is Clark Kent a moron, he's also a hypocrite?" Chloe asked. "Why is that so believable?"

"I wouldn't go that far," Lana said, breaking into a smile. "Okay, I would."

Chloe laughed. "I know what our problem is. The guys of Smallville fall into four categories. One, best friends; two, too old; three, some sort of freak of the week; four, morons."

"Well put, Chloe. What do you propose we do about it?" Lana asked.

"Move?" Chloe countered with a grin. When Lana raised an eyebrow, she continued. "Okay, maybe not. What happened to not defining ourselves by who we date?"

"You're right!" Lana exclaimed.

"Right about what?" a voice asked.

Lana swiveled on her stool. "Lex, hi," she said, her voice going up an octave.

Chloe rolled her eyes. "You're hopeless."

"You're just jealous," Lana shot back, bursting into laughter at Chloe's open-mouthed gape.

"What's so funny?" Pete asked walking up.

"Hey, Pete," Chloe said, her voice getting huskier. She immediately broke into a grin.

"Now who's hopeless?" Lana asked, her eyes twinkling.

"You're right," Chloe said, hopping off of the stool. "Let's get out of here."

"Good idea," Lana said, quickly following.

"Hey, Lana. Hi, Chloe," Clark said, walking in as they left.

Lana and Chloe shot each other a withering look before erupting in laughter. Without a word they left the Talon, leaving all three guys in shocked confusion.


End file.
